Change My Life
by Katers2388
Summary: Brittana AU. Santana's past comes rushing back with a night out at the local strip club.
1. Chapter 1

I'd never been to a strip club before, hence the nerves currently racing through my veins. Or maybe that was the 4 shots of tequila I'd taken in quick succession in order to gain enough courage to be here.

"It'll be fun, just relax and enjoy." said my best friend Puck.

Puck had been begging me for months to join him on his late night trips to 'The South Pole' - Yep, they actually called it that. I'd declined every time he'd asked, that is until tonight. Not that I had much of a choice considering I was the only female and had been out voted 3 to 1. Apparently dinner and a movie wasn't their idea of a fun Friday night out. So it was either this, or going home alone for a night of ice cream and Friends re-runs. And really, I have all week to do that.

My group consisted of three guys. Puck, real name Noah Puckerman. He still thinks he's so badass with his Mohawk that everyone has to call him Puck. The idiot needs to realise he's a grown ass man already and shave the stupid thing off. Mike Chang the quietest of our group and Sam Evans our bieberesque big mouth.

For some reason I have always gotten on better with these three than most other girls. They're less bitchy and apart from the odd occasion when they would hit on me or stare at my boobs, they generally look after me. And I've only dated two of them. Mike doesn't count because sex isn't dating. But that was years ago anyway and now they are the best friends any girl could ask for. And this girls name is Santana Lopez. A 24-year-old college dropout with nothing to show for her life but a fish named Ivan and a few maxed out credit cards.

As we approached what could only be described as a dive with a great big neon sign telling us that this was indeed the place and that there were in fact real naked girls. And just incase you needed an extra hint to the establishment, a 10-foot neon outline of a woman shaking her money maker sure would clue you in. I took a deep breath as we headed through the door, praying to any Gods hanging around a place like this that I wouldn't contract gonorrhea from any of the chairs.

Inside was exactly how I expected the place to be. Dark and dingy with a bar running down the left hand wall. A few old men sitting along it ogling at the dancers. There was a long stage in the center of the room, which was currently occupied by a half naked red head lazily swinging herself around the pole. Puck led our group to a booth with a perfect view of the stage. I couldn't contain an eye roll when he told us it was his usual table. 'This is why you're single' was on the tip of my tongue but I held it back, there was plenty of time later to be a bitch and right now I just wanted a drink. As we took a seat Puck asked us our drink order saying he'd get the first round. I decided on a beer thinking it would be less likely that something would be slipped into it. I was all for free narcotics, but I drew the line at roofies. I looked to my left and saw the guys already gawping at the stage. Sam gawping was a site. I briefly wondered if he could fit the entire table into his mouth. Pfft, of course he could. But then my mind went to how dirty the table probably was. I made a mental note to not touch anything at all. Looking around I noticed the place was getting busier, it was now half full of men. Actually I seemed to be the only woman here apart from the half naked girls roaming around. It would be just my luck if some old perve mistakes me for a stripper and tries to make me give him a lap dance. Just as Puck placed a beer in front of me the music was turned off and a voice came through the overhead speakers.

"Lets give a warm welcome for our one and only Desire."

Suddenly the lights on the stage grew darker and the music started up. A woman took to the stage walking seductively, swaying her hips in time to the music. Once she reached the pole she took a hold of it, swinging her body around it gracefully. I felt my mouth go dry as I took in the beauty on stage. The girl had beautiful blonde hair and long toned legs. From what I could see through the crappy lighting, she had a bit of a tan and was wearing the smallest G-string I'd ever seen with matching bra. She was also wearing a garter belt and 6 inch heels. As my eyes made their way back up her incredible body stopping for a second at her toned abs, then working their way back up to where the blondes hands where now making work of the front clip of her bra. The girl teased the audience and once she was sure all attention was on her, she whipped the bra off revealing her perfect breasts. Spinning her way around the pole again the blonde bent over to give her new fans a full view of her barely covered behind. I found myself leaning forward but stopped when I realised.

"Like what you see?" Puck whispered in my ear.

Without looking at him I knew he was smirking. Usually I'd snap back a witty retort about his penis being small or that Mr. T called and wants his landing strip back, in order to try and hide the blush flooding my cheeks at being caught leering. But there was no point, something about this girl sucked me in and I couldn't look away.

I was vaguely aware of Sam leaving the booth, but I didn't really care to see what he was doing. Especially now when the girl was crawling along the stage floor collecting dollar bills in her G-string and garter. She made her way around the front of the stage claiming her tips and then stopped in front of our table so the seedy men in wrinkled business suits could add to the growing collection in her underwear. Looking up she smiled seductively at Puck and Mike, but when her eyes finally met mine, her smile faltered. As I peered into crystal-clear blue eyes, I gasped. Suddenly there was only one thought running through my head.

'Brittany.'


	2. Chapter 2

Suddenly Brittany stood up and made her way quickly off the stage. I tried to follow, but Puck took forever to move and by the time I'd gotten out of the booth she was gone.

Making my way to the back of the stage where I figured she'd have gone, I was suddenly stopped by a bouncer.

"Can't go back there, ma'am." he said whilst crossing his tree trunk arms.

"Please, I just need to see someone" My voice sounded close to begging, something I never did, but I couldn't lose her. Not again.

"It's 50 bucks for a private dance. You can pay at the bar." He pointed to the barman.

Without thanking him I moved quickly to the bar, pulling out my wallet on the way.

"I need a dance. With the blonde that was just on." I said pulling out all my money, which only made up $20. Crap. Telling the barman to hold on I raced back to the booth.

"Puck, give me your wallet" I demanded. Holding out my open palm.

He scrunched up his face, I could see a 'no' forming on his lips, but just as I was about to release a torrent of abuse, he handed his wallet to me. He was so whipped.

I rifled through it and pulled out a $50 bill. More than I needed, but whatever, might as well take full advantage of his kind nature. Making my way back over to the bar I handed over the money. He told me Desire was busy at the moment. But she'd be out soon. I ordered myself a beer and waited.

My thoughts trailed back to that night 12 years ago.

"_San, please I need to go, they're waiting for me. Just let me in so I can say goodbye." Brittany pleaded through my bedroom door. _

_I looked up from my place on the floor against the bed; I could barely see my room through the tears pouring out of my eyes. I needed to open the door to say a proper goodbye, but my feet wouldn't move. Saying goodbye meant it was the end. And I couldn't accept that she was leaving. That I'd probably never see her again. Sure we'd promised to call, write, even take trips out to see each other during the holidays. But I think we both knew we were kidding ourselves. This was it. Her parents were waiting out in the car, growing impatient if the horn sounds were anything to go by. _

"_Please, San. I don't want my last memory of you to be your door." _

_So she knew it was the end too. She'd always been the more optimistic of the two of us. Always looking for the bright side of life. But her voice sounded strained and I could tell she was crying too. That thought broke my heart, and my resolve, so I slowly got up and made my way to the door, wiping my face on the way, not that it did much good as new tears quickly replaced the old._

_I unlocked the door, moving back as it was flung open. Arms were suddenly wrapped around me tightly. I immediately rested my head in the crook of her neck. We held each other tight, not speaking. Just taking in each other. Finally squeezing me one last time she began to pull away, but not before whispering that she loved me in my ear. I gripped at her shirt, a last desperate attempt to keep her from leaving. I stared into her red-rimmed eyes, seeing the same pain I was sure were in mine._

"_Please don't go" I begged. _

_Gripping so hard to her shirt I could feel my nails digging into my skin. But I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was her moving to the other side of the country and leaving me behind. _

"_You know I have to. I love you, Santana. You're my best friend and you always will be. I don't know a lot. But I know that. I love you, okay?" _

_I nodded, trying to get the words 'I love you too' out, but was stopped when she leaned in and placed a small chaste kiss to my lips, before pulling away, easily prying apart my vice like grip. _

_I stood in shock, watching as she turned around and walked out of my life, taking my first kiss and my heart along with her._

I couldn't believe she was here. Stripping no less. I mean she'd always been an incredible dancer, but the thought of Brittany having to take her clothes off for money made me feel sick to my stomach. It had been ten years since I last saw her, but my protectiveness over her came rushing back.

Reaching for my beer, I suddenly felt a hand on my arm. Looking up I was met with the most beautiful blue eyes. I held her gaze as I felt her hand move down my arm leaving goose bumps in its trail; finally reaching it's destination and grasping my hand.

She then carefully guided me from my stool and towards the back of the stage. Although I wasn't really paying attention, what with the soft warm hand grasping mine. She led me into a small room with a chair in the center and a table to the side, which housed a CD player.

Setting me down in the chair she moved over to the table pressing play and then moved back to straddle my legs. She placed her hands over my shoulders, holding onto the back of the chair. Then began gracefully rocking her hips back and forth in time to the music. I could feel a tingling shooting straight down my body. Licking my lips to try and clear my head I stared into her eyes with a questioning gaze. She looked away immediately, continuing with her gentle grinding. As much as my body was enjoying this, my brain finally kicked in telling me this was wrong.

"Wait." I croaked out.

Brittany stopped and looked at me with confusion in her eyes, waiting for me to speak.

"Britt" I breathed, reaching up to touch her cheek. But before it got to its intended destination, she slapped it away

"No touching" Suddenly she was standing up and walking to the CD player. Switching it off, she turned and leaned against the table, crossing her arms whilst looking down to the floor. I stared at her in shock. I was so sure she'd recognised me from her reaction on stage. But maybe she didn't remember me at all and thought I was just some creep trying to cop a feel. With that thought I decided to try again.

"I'm sorry. I just, it's a shock seeing you. But I shouldn't have done that."

She didn't take her eyes off the floor, but I heard her murmur a quiet 'okay'.

I took in her appearance; she looked completely different than I remembered. But I guess she'd barely had boobs the last time I saw her. Now she was a fully-grown woman, with an incredible body.

She must have felt me staring because suddenly her arms wrapped tighter around her as if hugging herself. A complete change from the confident seductive blonde on stage a few moments ago. I was now seeing a self-conscious and timid young girl. It took everything in me to not get up and hug her. But considering how she'd just reacted to my touch, I kept in my chair.

"How are you?" I asked. It was a simple question, but one I needed to know the answer to. I'd needed to know for 12 years.

I could see Brittany's shoulders rise as she took in a deep breath. After a long moment she looked up, a newfound confidence in her eyes. Her posture now matching that of her stage persona. The transformation was quite extraordinary.

"Hope you enjoyed the dance." And with that she left the room without so much as a backwards glance.

Leaving me speechless for the second time in my life.


	3. Chapter 3

After taking a minute to process what just happened I started to make my way back to the guys, making sure to look out for Brittany on the way. But as expected there was no sign of her.

I just couldn't understand why she acted like that. It was obvious she knew who I was, since she hadn't once questioned why I knew her name.

I had so many questions running through my head and no answers.

The main one I kept circling back to was 'what is she doing in Ohio?'

Brittany and I had grown up next door to each other in California. That is until her parents moved her to Boston when we were 12.

I thought my world had ended the day she left. And maybe part of it had.

I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, which introduced me to Puck.

We started hooking up regularly and really that was all it was. Until one day I turned up at his ready to get it on and instead of following him to his room, I was led to the couch where he proceeded to play Halo for the next 3 hours. To this day I'll never understand why I stayed and watched him shooting weird looking aliens. But it suddenly became our thing. We started talking more and hooking up less. I learned that he was actually a decent guy. And I guess he learned I wasn't a total bitch. He soon became my best friend.

We both decided to go to Ohio State for college, when he got a football scholarship there. I studied medicine, but dropped out after two years, completely disappointing my parents. Not that I wasn't used to that of course.

Thankfully I met Mike at a party. And after a drunken one-night stand with him, we became good friends. At the time I was working at a coffee shop near campus and living with Puck in an apartment the size of a closet. So when Mike offered me a job with him at his parents' accountancy firm, I jumped at it. The job was in Lima, and although it was just a small time filing job, I loved it. The money wasn't great, but the hours were good, and I got to hang out with Mike all day, which was a bonus.

I moved in with Mike and his best friend Sam. And then once Puck finished college we all moved into a four-bed house on the outskirts of town.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Sam, waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I snapped.

Sam, used to my temper just smiled his huge smile and then said, "Let's go."

I grabbed my stuff from the booth and walked to the door not before taking a quick look around; just to make sure I hadn't missed her. But nothing. She was gone.

As we left I noticed Puck was missing. Mike must have seen the confusion on my face.

"He's getting a dance. Told us he'd see us at home"

The guys started talking about their night, but I wasn't really listening. Thoughts of Brittany were flooding my mind. I couldn't believe she was here. Out of all the ways I'd imagined our reunion, this was definitely not one of them. But now I knew where she was. My stomach fluttered when I thought about the goodbye kiss she'd given me. I'd never told anyone about it. Not even Puck. I was too embarrassed at how good it felt. But although I made sure to never kiss another girl, it didn't help that I still compared all the lips I'd ever kissed to hers. No one ever came close.

"It was just gross, man. No one should ever have to see their cousins boobs."

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts, disgusted. What the hell were these guys talking about? Incest apparently.

"If it helps though, she was really hot. I mean Santana nearly jumped the table to get to her and she's straight." Replied Mike, grinning as he elbowed me in the ribs.

"Ouch, asshole!" I shouted, smacking him on the shoulder, whilst rubbing my ribs.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" I asked Sam, who was laughing at us.

"Desire. She's my cousin. Can't believe she works there though, that was a shock." Sam replied.

Stopping in my tracks, I processed this information. Brittany was Sam's cousin. Sam's cousin was Brittany. My Brittany.

"Your cousin?" I finally got out.

Sam looked at me with a confused expression, but kept walking. Once I started moving again, he answered my question.

"Yeah. I don't know her that well, she moves around a lot. Must have come back for the funeral, I guess she decided to stay."

Sam's grandmother had recently died. Sam acted like he was fine, but one night when I came home late, he was sitting on the couch in the dark. I could see through the small amount of light filtering in from outside that he'd been crying. But before I could say anything, he noticed I was there and quietly went to his room. We never mentioned it. But he seemed to be back in his happy place now, if the stupid Star Wars impressions were anything to go by.

I tried to get more information out of Sam on Brittany, but he just shrugged telling me that he didn't know much; just that the only family she kept in touch with was their now deceased grandmother.

I processed this information the rest of the way home. After saying a quick goodnight to the boys, I went into my room and lay down on the bed. My head was about to explode with everything I'd just learned. Not only was Brittany here. Her cousin was my roommate. It brought a whole other meaning to small fucking world.

But why did she act like she didn't know me? It was weird, surely she missed me too. We were really close growing up.

Maybe she was mad I never got in touch. But it's not like I could anyway. My mom lost the new phone number her parents had given us. Sometimes I think she did it on purpose, wanting me to branch out and get new friends. God, I was so angry with her. Even giving her the silent treatment for a whole week, which at age 12 was a really long time.

I hoped for months Brittany would call me, but she never did. So if anyone should be mad, it should be me. I never changed my number. And I know she knew it off by heart.

I wondered if I went back tomorrow, would she speak to me? Hell, I didn't care. I was going back whether she wanted me to or not. I just hoped she wouldn't leave again before I had a chance to speak to her. Especially with her grandmother now gone, there was nothing to keep her here. That thought tugged at my heart and I knew I couldn't handle her leaving again. It had taken me years to get over my best friend moving away. I don't think I ever really did. It was probably the whole reason I went to the same college as Puck. God I was pathetic.

But I knew deep down Brittany wasn't just a friend. I'd never had such a strong connection with someone. Even all the guys I'd been with.

And although I never let myself think about it, I knew it all made sense after the kiss. I knew my feelings weren't just about losing a best friend.

Deciding I'd head back to the club tomorrow, I got ready for bed. Making sure to feed Ivan before getting into bed.

My last thoughts before sleep took over were of those incredible blue eyes.

* * *

I woke up early the next morning. Hoping that Sam would be up and about so I could ask him more questions. Sure enough he was sitting at the kitchen table eating his cereal. I poured myself some coffee and sat across from him.

I decided I'd need to brace the subject carefully.

"So have fun last night?" That was subtle, right?

"I guess." He replied. Maybe this would be harder than I thought.

"So,your cousin. Has she always been a stripper?" I hated talking about Brittany like this, but I was desperate to know if she'd been taking her clothes off for a long time. The thought she could be doing this for the 6 years of her adult life made me sick to my stomach.

"Dunno." He replied. Jesus Sam! Why are you making this so difficult?

"Well, she was good. Maybe you should invite her over for a drink? It would be nice to meet more of your family." I tried. If she came over, she'd have to talk to me. Right?

Sam looked at me wearily, as if trying to work out what I meant by that.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He answered.

"Why not?" I didn't understand why he was against Brittany coming round. I mean they were family. You'd think after losing his gran he would take family more seriously.

"She's a bit strange. And anyway, my mom wouldn't like me talking to her."

"What? Why?" I couldn't believe Sam's mom wouldn't approve of him seeing Brittany. She was always such a nice woman. Something major must have happened for her to act like that.

"She kinda did something. I don't know what, but her parents kicked her out. And my mom told me to stay away from her, that she was bad news. My gran never talked about her. Only reason I know they kept in touch was because of the letters I found when we cleared out the house. There were loads of them.

I was shocked. What could Brittany have done that caused her whole family to abandon her?

"I guess now she's here I should give them back to her. Maybe I'll just drop them off at the club, then I won't have to see her." Sam continued.

"I'll do it!" I almost shouted. It was the perfect excuse to see her. Calming myself down, I tried again.

"I mean, I think I left my phone there, so I have to go get it anyway. Saves you having to deal with her, right?"

Sam looked unsure. But after a moment nodded. He got up and went to his room, returning with small wooden box.

"Thanks, San." He said before walking to the sink to wash his bowl.

I looked down at the box; it had a beautiful carving on the top and a small lock at the front. It was obviously very full, as the lid had been pushed up slightly. I took a quick peek inside and saw that it was packed full of letters. Sam had been right, there must be at least a hundred letters in here. I didn't dare to read them. They were private.

I carefully placed the lid back on and walked to my room. Getting ready I wondered what time the strip club would open. It was 11 now, so I had at least 10 hours. I placed the box on my desk and went for a shower. The familiar feeling of excitement flooded through my body. Tonight I'd get to see Brittany. I couldn't wait.


	4. Chapter 4

At a little before 9pm, I'd had enough of waiting around. I'd spent the passed 3 hours trying on different outfits for tonight in an attempt to make the time go faster. Finally I just couldn't be bothered and threw on some jeans that made my ass look awesome and a jumper that showed off some, but not all of my assets.

When I left my room I spotted Puck lying on the couch watching cartoons. I said a quick hello, but got nothing more than a mumble back. I guess he had a big night after we left. My thoughts suddenly went to Brittany and if she had been the girl to give Puck a dance. Jealousy and anger rushed through me. I wanted to ask, but I think I would have probably punched him if it turned out she was his dancer. So with that thought I left, shouting a 'see you later' as I went.

The nerves were starting to pick up as I made my way to the club. The one good thing about living in a small town was that everything was in walking distance. This really came in handy when you couldn't afford a car, like yours truly. And so twenty minutes later I arrived. My hands were clammy and my heart was racing as I reached for the door and let myself in.

The place was a lot quieter than last night. But I guess it was still early. I couldn't see Brittany, which made my stomach drop. What if she wasn't here? What if she'd left already? I started panicking until the sensible part of my brain walked me over to the bar to enquire as to Desire's whereabouts.

The barman seemed to remember me from last night; I guess not many girls come in here. To my relief he told me she would be in. But then he mentioned not until 11. This gave me an hour and a half to kill. Great. Ordering a shot, to calm my nerves. I took a seat at the bar.

* * *

An hour, 3 beers and 2 shots later, I decided to head outside for a smoke. As I leant up against the wall outside, my mind immediately went back to what Sam had said this morning. Brittany and her parents had always been close, so it was inconceivable that they would just kick her out. Not only that but to turn her whole family against her. Thank God for her grandmother. I thought back to the box of letters in my pocket. Maybe they would hold the answer. The temptation to read them was definitely there. But I couldn't do that to Brittany. They were private, and I couldn't destroy her trust.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a car pulling into the car park and driving up to the side door of the club. My brain immediately registered the blonde hair in the passenger seat and before I knew it I was making my way towards the car. Through the back window I could see the driver speaking to the blonde, then leaning in for a kiss. My heart dropped at the sight. I was almost praying it wasn't Brittany, until the car door opened and she stepped out. She noticed me immediately and I could tell from the scowl on her face she wasn't pleased to see me. My heart dropped further.

She closed the car door. Watching as it drove away leaving a cloud of dust behind it. Once the car was out of sight she looked up at me. Her face was still hard, but the scowl had gone.

"How did you find me?" The harshness in her voice took me by surprise. Brittany had never spoken to me like that. Hell, I'd never heard her speak to anyone like that.

As if realising her tone, she looked to the ground, grinding her shoe into the gravel.

"I- Britt I didn't know you worked here." She suddenly looked up at me with a glare.

"You were here with Sam, I'm not stupid. I'm not going back; I don't care what you say. It's too late, they ruined their chance." She snapped, still glaring into me.

I stood there in complete shock, trying to process what her words actually meant.

"Going back where? Brittany, I'm not here to take you anywhere. I didn't even know you were related to Sam till last night. I swear, I'm just here to see you."

Her eyes darted around my face, analysing every feature to make sure I was telling the truth. Something in my face must have satisfied her, because her eyes softened slightly. Not much, but enough to see some of the old Brittany peaking through.

"Why?" she finally asked.

I frowned. Wasn't it obvious?

"Because I missed you. You were my best friend and you disappeared. Of course I want to see you, I want to know you're safe." How didn't she understand that? Our eyes locked, until she finally broke it looking towards the door.

"I need to get to work". Making her way to the door.

"Please Britt" I begged, as she reached for the handle. She hesitated for a moment before finally saying.

"I finish at 3. If you're still around I'll meet you at Teds" and with that she was gone.

* * *

Teds was a 24-hour diner just down the road from the club. It was pretty run down, but did some awesome pancakes. Not that I could eat. My stomach was in knots waiting for Brittany. I spent the next four hours ripping apart napkins and drinking my weight in coffee. I know I should have just gone home and came back later, but facing Puck was the last thing I wanted to do. I was still mad at him. Which was stupid, I know. But I didn't really care.

I felt like I'd spent the whole day waiting for Brittany and I guess I really had. I couldn't think of anything else. I just didn't understand what she meant when she said she wasn't going back. Did she mean to California? Boston? And who ruined their chance? What chance. My head was ready to explode. At least I'd get my answers tonight.

The time ticked away until it was 3am. My anxiety worsened and I stared at the door praying it would open. At about 10 past, my prayer was answered. In walked Brittany looking stunning. She looked around the place wearily and once she spotted me, slowly made her way over. She didn't look at me as she sat down, finding the table more interesting. I saw her look at the mountain of ripped up napkins in front of me and my face immediately flushed.

"Hi" I croaked. Coughing to clear my voice.

She didn't say anything back, just continued to stare at the table. Just as I was about to say something else, the waitress approached asking Brittany her order. Brittany mumbled a coffee at her. Once the waitress had poured Brittany a cup and tusked at the mess I had made. She left us alone.

"How was work?" I tried. Brittany suddenly looked up at me with a frown, like she couldn't believe I'd even gone there. I mentally slapped myself upside the head. I was an idiot.

Ignoring my question, Brittany wrapped her hands round her cup and stared into her coffee. It stayed like that for a long minute, until she finally broke the silence.

"What are you doing here?" It wasn't harsh like before, but I wouldn't call it warm either.

"I got a job here. Well, my friend Mike got me a job here. I live with him and Sam. And Puck, you remember him?" I knew she couldn't forget Puck. Brittany didn't hate anyone, but she definitely had a strong dislike for him. I never knew why. Especially as I don't think she'd ever had a conversation with him. I mean, I only started to talk to him after she left.

Something like anger flashed in her eyes, but as soon as it was there it was gone. Yep, she definitely remembered him.

"I thought I recognised him." She mumbled. Still staring into her coffee.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Two months. My grandma, she uh…" Brittany trailed off. I could see the hurt pouring out of Brittany. Everything in me wanted hug her tightly, but she probably wouldn't like that. So instead I reached into my bag and pulled out the box Sam had given me. Brittany looked at it with confusion when I passed it to her.

"Sam wanted you to have these. I think they're yours anyway."

She took the box, placing it on the table in front of her and lifted the lid. I could tell she knew what they were without having to open any of the letters. Tears started forming in her eyes as she placed her hand delicately on the top letter. It was as if she could feel her grandmother through it. I felt like I was eavesdropping on a private moment, but I couldn't look away. As if realising what she was doing, Brittany pulled her hand away and shut the box. Taking a minute to compose herself, then she looked up at me.

Locking with my eyes, her whole expression softened. "Thank you" She said sincerely.

I smiled slightly, happy that I'd done something right.

"I- This means a lot to me." She wiped under her eyes to get rid of the unshed tears. Then cleared her throat. "I should go".

I frowned. She was leaving already?

"But you just got here."

She pushed her untouched coffee aside, placing a $5 bill in front of it before picking up her bag and the box.

"It's late, I need to get home." She said standing up.

"Well, can I walk you at least?" I asked, getting up from the booth as well.

She hesitated, before nodding slowly. Relief flooded through me. Throwing down some money for the waitress, I followed her out of the diner.

* * *

We walked in silence for a while. I noticed we were heading in the same direction as my house. Brittany interrupted my thoughts by asking me the one thing I'd dreaded.

"Why didn't you call me?" Her voice sounded so small. I glanced at her. Her posture made her look small and vulnerable. My heart ached at the thought I'd caused that.

"My mom lost your number. I know it sounds lame, but it's the truth. I wanted to call, I really did. You must know that."

Brittany nodded slightly. Accepting I was telling the truth.

"Why didn't you call me?" I asked, biting my lip. A bad habit I got when I was nervous.

Brittany sighed. "I thought you didn't want to hear from me because you never called. I waited for like 2 weeks, but when I heard nothing, I tried. Your mom said you were out with your boyfriend and you'd phone me when you got back. You never did, so I didn't try again." I couldn't believe this. My mom had never told me that Brittany had called. Twelve years of thinking she'd abandoned me and she hadn't. God, I hated my mom at this moment.

"She never told me." I said, trying to keep the anger and hurt out of my voice, but failing.

We continued walking in silence. I needed to calm down. All this time I could have been in touch with Brittany. What the hell was my mom about? We turned left at a set of lights and I noticed we were now entering the rough part of town called Lima Heights Adjacent. It was a severely run down neighbourhood. It would probably be where I lived if I didn't live with the boys. The houses seemed to be getting more and more run down as we past. Finally we reached the worst one of all, which of course was Brittany's. The house looked ancient. The wooden panelling, which had once been white, was now a horrible brown grey colour. Three of the windows had been boarded up. And I could make out a hole in the roof. The screen door was leaning against the wall instead of being attached to the door. The garden looked more like a jungle, with lots of junk scattered all around it. I could just make out a child's bike and an engine of some sort through the thick grass. The car that had dropped off Brittany was parked up on the sidewalk making my stomach drop. He obviously lived here with Brittany, that added with the kiss from earlier meant it had to be her boyfriend. Maybe even husband. I swallowed down the bile creeping it's way up my throat.

Brittany turned to me.

"Will you be okay getting home?" She asked, her eyes full of concern for the first time tonight.

"Yeah, I'm not that far from here actually."

Brittany nodded, accepting this. We both watched each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. I wanted to hug her, but I still wasn't sure if that would be okay, so I held back.

"Thank you for bringing me the letters." Indicating to the box she held.

"It was nothing, really. Sam wanted you to have them." She frowned at that and I was about to ask, when she said, "I should go."

I nodded, knowing she had to leave, but making sure to make the most of every second I was still in her presence.

"Can I see you again?" I asked finally.

Brittany took a moment to think it over before sighing.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"What? Why not?" I frowned. Why was seeing her a problem? We were friends. Yeah sure we'd lost each other for 12 years, but I still counted her as my best friend, alongside Puck.

"Because I'm not good, Santana." She saw I was about to argue, so continued. "I'm not 12 years old anymore. Things have changed. I've changed."

I thought about this for a moment. She could be an axe murderer or a Justin Bieber fan and I'd still want to know her.

"Then let me get to know the new you?" I asked.

After what seemed like hours, Brittany finally nodded. "Okay" She whispered.

Clearing her throat she added. "Mondays my day off."

I smiled, getting my phone out of my pocket and handing it to her. She knew immediately what I meant and typed in her number. Handing it back, our fingers touched briefly sending a shock of electricity right through me.

I think she felt it too, because she pulled back quickly, turning toward the house and walking to the door. I watched her go already missing her, but excited by the thought of Monday. As she reached the door she turned around to look at me. Opening her mouth, then hesitated. I waited patiently for anything she was going to say.

"You look good, San." And then she was gone before I could reply.

I grinned. I knew I looked good, but coming from Brittany, the compliment almost made my fly. I started my walk home. Smiling all the way. I couldn't wait till Monday.


End file.
